Pay Attention

Luke 24:1-11

But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they came to the tomb, taking the spices that they had prepared. They found the stone rolled away from the tomb, but when they went in, they did not find the body. While they were perplexed about this, suddenly two men in dazzling clothes stood beside them. The women were terrified and bowed their faces to the ground, but the men said to them, ‘Why do you look for the living among the dead? He is not here, but has risen. Remember how he told you, while he was still in Galilee, that the Son of Man must be handed over to sinners, and be crucified, and on the third day rise again.’ Then they remembered his words, and returning from the tomb, they told all this to the eleven and to all the rest. Now it was Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary the mother of James, and the other women with them who told this to the apostles. But these words seemed to them an idle tale, and they did not believe them.

Our passage today begins by telling us that “they” went to the tomb at dawn, with the spices “they” had prepared. And that “they” found the stone rolled away; that “they” did not find the body. “They” were perplexed. Then a dazzling angel said “Remember how he told you… Then they remembered his words. The women. “Mary Magdalene, Joanna, Mary mother of James, and the other women…”. It’s not until the end of the passage that we’re reminded of their names, because if we were read the story of the Passion and resurrection in full, in order, we would know who “they” were immediately— because it was “The women who had come with him from Galilee [who] followed, and they saw the tomb and how his body was laid. Then they returned and prepared spices and ointments.” And then “…on the first day of the week at early dawn,” there they were again.

And when they proclaimed the resurrection the words seemed “an idle tale” to the men. The reason for their disbelief likely had little to do with their sex or gender— after all, the women had been following Jesus alongside the twelve for nearly as long as the men— but rather everything to do with twelve’s lack of understanding or full attention throughout all of Jesus’ ministry, and also with the fact that they just… weren’t there. They weren’t there when the women were at the grave and saw Jesus’ body. They were inside somewhere, likely in fear, hiding from the Roman authorities, when the women went to the grave and found it empty. The women let love lead them when they followed the body to the tomb, and when they returned at dawn to find the body gone.

And it’s not just about seeing and believing— they haven’t actually seen the risen Jesus yet, only the empty tomb and the testimony of the angels. But they remembered his words, and they understood, and they believed. Jesus told them three times in the book of Luke, twice in chapter 9 and again in chapter 18—“On the third day he will rise again.” The fact that the angels tell the women, “Remember how he told you” makes it clear they were with 12 at least one of the times Jesus told them what would happen. And the women faced that future head-on every step of the way. They didn’t leave Jesus until they saw his body was safe in the tomb. They were planning to continue to attend to his body even after all they had seen, while the rest hid away.

In 1945, a collection of early Christian writings was found in the town of Nag Hammadi in Egypt, now known as the Nag Hammadi library. One of these texts was what is now known as the Gospel of Mary. Unfortunately, a great deal of the beginning and middle of the text is missing, and much of it is fragmented. From context clues, it is likely that the scene takes place during a meeting with the recently resurrected Jesus and his disciples. In what we can read of the text, at the beginning, Jesus departs after a dialogue with his friends, and they remain perplexed and anxious in his absence. Mary then speaks up, and says she had a meaningful conversation with Jesus. Peter pleads with her to tell him the what was said, and Mary says that Jesus said to her, “Blessed are you, that you did not waver at the sight of me.” Blessed are you, that you did not waver. Especially cutting that this conversation is with Peter, who cowardly denied Christ three times in the hours just before his death.

Mary and the women did not waver. And when they were reminded of what Jesus had told them, they remembered and they understood, and they were the first to spread the good news. Why did it happen this way? Why was it Mary and the women who did not waver?

The early 20th century philosopher, mystic, and activist Simone Weil wrote about the difference between attention and will— she posited that it was not will that would bring us to any kind of religious enlightenment, but rather deep attention. “The will,” she wrote, “controls only a few movements of a few muscles…I can will to put my hand flat on the table.” And now, I warn you— it’s going to get a little mystical here… “Attention,” she writes,

taken to its highest degree is the same thing as prayer. It presupposes faith and love…If we turn our minds toward the good, [by way of this deep attention], it is impossible that little by little, the whole soul will not be attracted thereto in spite of itself… Attention alone—that attention which is so full that the ‘I’ disappears— is required of me. I have to deprive all that I call ‘I’ of the light of attention and turn it on to that which cannot be conceived.

The capacity to drive a thought away once and for all is the gateway to eternity. The infinite in an instant.

That’s a lot, I know. Weil is saying that we can will ourselves to do just about anything. You all willed yourselves to be here today! Which is great! But when Weil talks about attention so fully that the ‘I’ disappears, it’s doing away with our ego, our own needs, our own fears and anxieties. Doing away with the ‘I’ and thinking in terms of us, thinking in terms of community, thinking in terms of the greater good— this is what leads to new life, this is what leads to a new and enlightened world— “the gateway to eternity.” The gateway to a world without end, a life without death. Paying deep attention like this leads us to a place in which there is no more rugged individualism, no more every person for themselves, no more sinful hierarchies of rich and poor. Being strong and centered enough to pay attention to both the good and the evil, without letting ourselves be consumed by the evil, is what leads us to the belief in the promise of resurrection.

Mary and the women were paying attention. The others were willing themselves to follow Christ. They were physically with him. They ate with him. They talked with him. They prayed and healed with him, even. But will isn’t strong enough—“the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak,” right? Mary and the women were paying attention. They listened. They understood. They believed. Maybe because of a woman’s place in society in their day, they were more easily to let go of their ego, their ‘I’ in order to pay close enough attention to what Jesus predicted and what did indeed happen. They were able to turn their attention to something which cannot be conceived, something which should have been impossible, unbelievable. In the face of that proclamation which seemed impossible and unbelievable, (“He is not here, he is risen”) they did not waver.

They did not waver because they paid attention—to Jesus’ prophesy about his resurrection; to every step of his ministry; to his arrest and passion and death to the bitter end; and they knew and they believed that good was still possible, that life was still possible, or else, how could one go on after everything they had witnessed?

Good God, it is hard not waver right now. It is hard to pay attention. It is hard to pay attention and be drawn to the good when there is so much hatred in our way, the wealthiest and the powerful working against all that is good and life-giving. How can one not waver?

In that same essay, on attention and will, Weil also writes, “Sin is nothing… but the failure to recognize human wretchedness…The story of Christ is the experimental proof that human wretchedness is irreducible... ”. The women, I believe, in believing, in understanding, and not wavering any step of the way to the cross and beyond, saw and recognized human wretchedness more than any other of Jesus’ followers… and they therefore had to believe that it could be overcome by their savior. And they were rewarded by their faith and by their belief.

In order to make it to witness the Resurrection, we have to witness the pain that comes before. And we have to do that without wavering. We have to do that with faith and with strength and with a Spirit-fueled conviction. In order to make this world an earth as it is in heaven, we have to be witness to the wretchedness we want so badly to ignore. We have to be witness to what humanity is capable of, and we have to be witness to, to pay attention, to the predictions of good. We have to pay attention to the promise of life that Christ gives us, the promise of new life, risen from the ashes, risen from the grave, the promise of new life that defeats destruction and evil and death.

Blessed are you, who does not waver— you, who does not waver in the face of arrests and disappearances of innocent people— who does not waver in the face of chaos and uncertainty; who does not waver in the face of cruelty in violence; who does not waver in the face of crashing markets and increasing poverty…

And blessed are you… who does not waver at what is possible; who does not waver at the very idea of a world in which all are treated equally; who does not waver in the face of mighty wealth crushed by the least of us; who does not waver in the destruction of weapons of war by the humble dove… blessed are you, who does not waver at that which we never thought could be conceived. Blessed are you, blessed are we who pay attention, who hold strong, who do not waver in our faith or the support of one another. Blessed are we who believe in something as impossible to conceive as peace, as love, as total and utter equality. Blessed are we who believe in the promise of Easter Resurrection.